I might have purchased this excellent book (Swearing is Good for You: The Amazing Science of Bad Language, by Emma Byrne) in search of a justification for swearing more … and I found it! For years doctors thought that swearing while in pain only made the pain worse, but one clever scientist finally decided to test this. He had his undergrad students twice plunge their hands into ice cold water, once while swearing, the other while repeating a neutral word like “table.” The students lasted 50% longer in the freezing water when they were swearing, and reported less pain.
My conclusion: the more I swear, the less pain I will feel. This becomes particularly relevant because in two weeks I’m having a second knee replacement surgery, which I know hurts—a lot. This time I intend to swear—a lot. And if anyone is offended, I will explain that I have a doctor’s prescription for swearing as part of my pain management program.
If swearing will help with my post-surgery pain, I’ll do it, ’cause I f**king hate pain. (Sorry, Mom, but please note that I used asterisks. It’s not really swearing if you use asterisks.)